OK

The start of week 2 has already begun....I can now navigate the maze of hallways, find the staff bathroom, and participate in the chaos of needles and paperwork of a trauma. Definitely not without a good tongue lashing by a grumpy Attending....and some snide comments by an ER nurse.

You basically are the bedpan for anybody having a rough day.

I'm OK with that. I'm letting things wash over me like an ocean wave...enveloping me for a moment but gone in a matter of seconds. I remind myself that the light is appearing at the end of that hallway. And I tell myself that It Is Better To Learn The Hard Way Than To Not Learn At All. (which surprisingly has never been quoted before).

There are other reminders that I am doing OK, relatively. Unlike my recent patients, I have not:

Been stabbed 22 times in the chest by significant other....

Fallen off my ATV after 10 beers and no helmet....

Fractured my sella turcica after a skateboard crash.....

Filled up my ostomy bag with blood 3 times before passing out.....