Gravity

First day awkwardness is present in most rotations, meeting new people, learning where to park, arriving overdressed, etc. In the trauma in-patient rotation, this is exacerbated several times over, as there are countless angled, empty hallways to navigate, hundreds of buzzing and beeping rooms, a cadre of residents, attendings, other students, trauma and ICU nurses, and various other staff who know exactly what their niche is.....while on Day 1 your role is as clear as the substance in that bedpan.

Thrown into the fire in the first few hours, I am told to go see a patient with a fever, post-op, after ORIF of L ankle fx s/p MVA. I remember my five W's, but before I can impress the PA too much, we get called to a trauma and I miss horribly on a radial ABG. Fumbly, sweaty hands amidst a buzzing room of people. Wires and bags and meds and IVs all orchestrated over this supine victim of a slipped car jack, resulting in a car landing on a chest. But the sweaty PA student can't get the ABG. The next trauma, a 4 year old girl who fell out of her 2nd story bedroom while playing with brother, has very minimal injuries but I play it safe and hang out in the corner, a little gun shy. A general surgery consult, and some hikes over to the ICU, and medical floor.....I leave the hospital completely exhausted, completely intimidated, and completely desiring to NOT work in a hospital.

Like the law of gravity that brought the car upon the man's chest and sent the girl hurtling down to her own lawn, there is a law that states that all Day 1's suck. All ABGs will be missed, and all thoughts of competence will be flushed down the toilet in the only clean staff bathroom (that you can't find). Gravity is the force of attraction that brings tangible objects down to earth (at 32 feet per second), but ego and confidence are also lowered to the ground....sometimes much quicker.