Little Moments in a Big World

Interesting Moments in Pediatric Medicine:

Realizing that pediatric nurses, despite their teddy bear scrubs, will cuss, smoke cigarettes, and make fun of whiny kids behind their backs.

Picking up a previously undiagnosed heart murmur during a visit for vision change. And being reminded why I listen to the heart and lungs in every patient every time.

Realizing that kids actually are hoping that the X-ray will show a fracture, as it is a much cooler diagnosis than "contusion".

Being asked by a teenager to explain to him what a MILF is. And going for it, with the blessing of the parent and preceptor.

Telling a mom that her son's "Gait Disturbance" is because he is wearing shoes that are twice the size of his foot, and loosely tied. Rx: Nike Outlet down the road.

My wife "stealing" the prized quilt from the Clinic Owner in the Christmas Party Gift Exchange. And watching my evaluation go down the tubes.

Realizing that the child who cut the tail off the family dog and stabbed a teacher with scissors then repeatedly punched self in face until bleeding, and is now in handcuffs, foam helmet, 4 point harness seat and spit mask needs to have my fingers near his mouth, just as the guards tell me he likes to bite.

Referring for evaluation for medical marijuana for chronic pain.

Pneumothorax in a 6 hour old boy.

Still not understanding the whole immunization schedule. Thank God for the aforementioned pediatric nurses. Despite their sailor-like attitudes, they can certainly help me decipher the IPV,Hep,VZV,PCV,MMR,HIB,DTAP,TDAP madness.

Having the moment of clarity, which led me to utter the words, "I could do pediatrics...."

Can't Beat the Odds

I officially can now be lumped into the "every student that comes to this clinic gets sick" crowd. I thought I was going to go unscathed. I heard the statistics. I knew nobody had ever made it 6 weeks with a clean bill of health. I had my daily vits, my 2 daily clemintines, my cat-like reflexes for dodging respiratory droplets, and various other "jump the chalk line" superstitious, knock-on-wood type methods of evading the virus. I even washed my hands a few times. In other words, 079.99

On a side note, I thought I experienced my first earthquake last night. I woke up to the bed

shaking, the walls vibrating and an overall bumpy feeling in the room. My first thought: Chris (geologist brother) is going to be so impressed. My second thought: Is Chehalis even near a fault? My third and final thought: Why did my landlord just start their dishwasher at this hour?

They apparently own the 1973 model that has such an intense cycle, it is a threat to the structural integrity this house and my patience. I think a quake would have been milder.