More Heard from the Herd

"I've got an apple stuck in my throat," says the drooling lady.

"I pushed the Walk Button," repeats the pedestrian who doesn't remember being hit by and flipped up and over the sedan.

"I've been in the Navy for 25 years, I know how to tie a square knot," says the unimpressed sailor as he watches me sew his soup can laceration.

"If you can get my potassium to 2.5, I'll be doing calisthenics in the hallway," says the emaciated and weak lady who was admitted last week with a K+ of 1.6 (nl = 3.5-5)

"I called 911 again," says the same lady with a toothache from last week.

"Attackacardia," reads the chief complaint, filled out by our registrar, referring to the patient's rapid heart rate.

"The blackberry bushes were losing for a while," says the frustrated and wounded fighter of the oh-so-tasty yet oh-so overgrowingly annoying berry when his new weapon of choice, gas-powered hedge trimmers, turned against him by opening the skin on his left knee.