"It hurts so bad that when I dropped a banana on it, I screamed. Then when I dropped a cassette tape on it, I screamed again," says the lady who fell off a ladder.
"I am Paul, what's your name?" asks the 50 y.o. man that didn't remember me coming into his room 5 minutes ago, let alone what year it is, who the President is, or what he had for breakfast. (New symptom today, no trauma, no drugs, no head bleed after CT)
"I got a bug bite," says almost everybody with MRSA.
"I got MRSA," says everybody who has a bug bite.
"Your next pizza is on me," says the pizzerria owner after I sew his finger.
"I called 911," says the lady with tooth pain.
"It's healing up well," says the toothless son of a 160 pack year history (4 ppd x 40 years) smoker who fell asleep on the couch with a ciggie in his mouth, as he (the son) rubs the oozing wound with his bare finger. "We came in because he's constipated."
"It's not erysipelas," says the hospitalist to the PA student who thought he was pretty cool for diagnosing erysipelas in the ER, thus crushing the 4 minutes of fame and glory that he had been basking in before the hospitalist came in.
"I hate chandeliers," declares the meth smoker, clarifying exactly why he punched it.
They're keeping ya on your toes over there in Whidbey Island ~ who knew there would be so much entertainment!
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Cheep! Que tal? I tried the erysipelas diagnosis too. My preceptor looked at me and asked what erysipelas was. He knew, but was just surprised that I came up with such a goofy idea. He said he hadn't heard anyone mention that in 15 years, and NO, the patient does not have erysipelas, silly PA student. Oh well.
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