Breathtaking

Nurse Practitioner (NP) student comes barging in out of breath, late on her first day. To be fair, the fact that she is an NP student doesn't mean anything. She could be a PA, MD, DO, PT, MA, or MSW student. She could be a law student or a MBA student. I don't care. But, truth be told, she is an NP student. And she is a train wreck.

Within 10 minutes she is already starting an argument with the PA about how much better NPs can and will be because they can practice independently.

Within 20 minutes the clinic staff have all heard how amazing she is and how much vast experience she has as a nurse, including how many IVs she has started in her life.

Within 35 minutes, I begin to wonder why she is still out of breath.

Within 36 minutes, I realize that perhaps she is out of breath because she is about 6'1, 260 lbs, built like a linebacker that doesn't do any linebacking anymore. I think she has COPD.

Within 2 hours, I have learned that she owns 5 boats, owes next to nothing on her house, and is for the most part the master of all things disease. At this point, I begin to think she is just out of breath because she never stops spewing words out of her trachea. Her poor vocal cords are too busy vibrating to let in some good old Room Air.

Within 11 days or so she will be gone, as her program only requires 90 hours per rotation. I will stay for another 20 days and 150 hours. But then again, I am not the master of disease. And I don't even own 5 boats.